July 20

For if, when we were enemies of God, we were reconciled to Him through the death of His Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through His life! — Rom 5:10 BSB

What a terrifying place to be—to feel and fear that you are an enemy of God! It’s one of the most painful experiences I’ve ever had, fearing that I was an enemy of God. What hope is there for someone who lives and dies with God as their enemy? In such a war, they are destined to perish. If God is against you, who can be your friend? Such feelings can push someone to the brink of despair. If a person fully realizes they are an enemy of God, where can they find refuge? Hell itself seems to offer no escape. But it’s necessary to feel some of this before we can truly value reconciliation with God. We must see that we are enemies of God by nature, born in sin, with a carnal mind that is hostile to him.

Oh, the torment of realizing that every fiber of our nature is soaked in enmity against God, that the very God to whom we owe everything, the holy and blessed one, is the object of our natural hostility! To recognize that our carnal heart is a mass of hatred toward the very God we desire to love—it is a dreadful thought! If you’ve ever felt the weight of this enmity rising within you, it will shatter any notion of self-righteousness. It will strip away all your illusions of goodness, leaving only the truth of your own corruption.

When a person is brought to this point, if there is any spiritual root in them, they will begin to look for a remedy. God has provided that remedy in the sacrifice of his beloved Son, in the blood of the Lamb, in the sufferings, death, and resurrection of Jesus. When the Holy Spirit reveals this to our soul and gives us faith to receive it, a felt reconciliation takes place. We are reconciled to God, love replaces enmity, praise replaces sighing, and instead of condemning ourselves, we bless his holy name.