December 5

Come back, come back, O Shulammite! Come back, come back, that we may gaze upon you. Why do you look at the Shulammite, as on the dance of Mahanaim? — Song 6:13 BSB

Aren’t you often a mystery to yourself? One moment you’re full of warmth, and the next you’re cold; one hour you’re humbling yourself, and the next you’re lifting yourself up; one day you’re loving the world and immersed in it, and the next you’re crying out for a sweet experience of God’s love. You’re brought low and covered in shame as you pray, only to feel pride rising up before you’ve even left the room. Alone, you’re ready to give up the world for just one taste of Jesus’ love; but in the middle of business, you grasp at the world with both hands.

What a mystery you are! Moved by love and stung by hate; holding a little wisdom but much foolishness; drawn to earthly things, yet with affections in heaven; striving forward, yet falling behind; full of laziness, yet taking the kingdom by force!

Through all this, the Spirit leads us into the mystery of the two natures, the "two armies" that constantly struggle within the same person. One person can’t differ from another more than you can differ from yourself.

Doesn’t this seem contrary to nature, sense, and reason? Don’t the wise and learned deny this? They say, “There must be a steady growth in holiness; our sinful nature must be gradually improved until it’s fully overcome and we become perfect like Christ.” But the mystery of the kingdom of heaven is this: our sinful nature remains unchanged and constantly wars against grace. So, the deeper we sink in self-abasement because of our sinfulness, the higher we rise in our knowledge of Christ. The more sinful we see ourselves, the more beautiful Jesus becomes to us.